The Past, Present, and Future

One of the newbies (the kids who just came in July) asked me today what the differences have been between the June and July programs. And honestly, one would think that there wouldn't be many. I mean, they're two identical programs with students from all over the country coming together and studying in Spain. It's essentially the same classes, a lot of the same students, and all the same teachers and staff.

Yet even though these two programs were only separated by a span of a few days, the differences between the two are almost mind-blowing. The dynamic is completely and totally 100% different. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just......well, it's different. For example, last month it was very unusual for me to be at home. Ever. I was always out with a huge group of people getting tapas or sitting in the plaza or Lord knows what else. But this month has been much, much more chill. I spend a lot of time alone taking walks and listening to music or just sitting in the sun reading a good book. Don't get me wrong, a huge majority of my time is devoted to being with my friends here, but I've had time to be a lot more introspective. And here is the direction my thoughts have turned:

I've been thinking a lot about my past, my present, and my future. All of them, of course, revolving around this experience in Spain because I can honestly say that it has been life-changing in oh so many ways. So for the sake of easiness, we'll refer to life before study abroad as PS (Pre-Spain) and life after AS (after Spain). Easy enough, right?

So first of all, let's address my past. I think of it in a couple of different ways. One is my recent past, which pretty much just covers my time in Spain. The other is the more distant past, which is pretty much just PS. :) Thinking back over my entire past, it almost seems like a different life. I was looking on facebook through some old pictures from CAC events, Camp Crimson, and other campus involvement stuff. Things that used to be my entire life. Now they just seem like distant memories of a time long-gone. Which is weird. Of course, those will always be things I cherish, but somehow this new phase of my life has helped me close that chapter and find some closure, which is a good thing.

Now my AS past, that just blows me away. How in the world have I already been here for almost two months? It just doesn't seem right. Surely someone has hit the fast forward button. I have done so many incredible things and seen so much that I can't help but have an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness for this incredible opportunity.

As to my present, well, as always with this blog, things really couldn't be better. I'm pretty sure my classes are going well and my relationships with other people continue to grow and develop. Having fewer people here is kind of nice because it lets me devote more time and attention to those few friendships and make them deeper. There is nothing I appreciate more than time well spent in the company of good friends, so that has been a blessing. And my Spanish continues to improve, which is really great. I've been told three times today by native spaniards that I speak really well, which has been a good morale boost. Sometimes I still feel like such a beginner, so receiving affirmation is great.

And then to my future, which once again can be broken up into the close and the distant. My near future is incredibly, tremendously exciting. I have my final couple of weeks of class, which is nice that those will soon be done. But my plans for my last two weeks here seem fantastic. I'll be taking in as much Spain as I possibly can as I may not be back to terribly soon. And then for the two and half weeks or so after class I'm beginning the crazy travel phase of my time in Europe. I've decided to go on a big Scandinavian adventure through Denmark, Sweden, and Norway. I've got everything all mapped out and will be starting in Copenhagen, then Malmo and Stockholm, Sweden, and finally Oslo and Bergen, Norway. How exciting!

The distant future has more possibility now than I ever thought possible. Which is interesting, because after graduation in May things were starting to look bleak. I really had no actual direction of where I wanted to go and I was pretty listlessly tossing around ideas, none of which sounded too horribly appealing. But I've got ambitions and goals now, regardless of how lofty they may be. I don't want to dive too deep into them because I could go on for days and things are still in the really tricky uncertain phase, but it just feels good to have some sort of life plan.

So really that's that. I love having the time to think things over and really get excited over the small things. Of course, there are those few big things, too, like, oh, I don't know, trips to Paris and such. But all in all, I would say that if this study abroad accomplishes absolutely nothing else, it has accomplished making a HUGE difference in my life in oh so many ways.

Now if only it wasn't ending so soon!